DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND: THE OTHER SIDE OF DIVORCE

I came across a picture from my wedding reception.

My first thought was actually simple:

“Wow… I was so pretty.”

But then I looked again.

And I realized something.

There was a time when I couldn’t look at pictures like this.

Not just wedding pictures. Family pictures. Memories. Moments that reminded me of what once was.

Because when my marriage ended, I didn’t just navigate divorce.

I navigated shame.

I wrestled with feeling like a failure.

Like somehow I had failed at marriage.

Failed at keeping a family together.

Failed at something I believed was supposed to last.

There was the fear of being alone.

The disappointment.

The questions.

The opinions of people.

And then there was navigating divorce while being in ministry, where sometimes people expect you to process publicly what God is still healing privately.

During that season, people would ask me to talk about it.

But God wouldn't allow me to.

He spoke something to me that I have never forgotten:

“This is between you and Me. I will allow you to talk about it when I can get the glory from it.”

And today…

He gets the glory.

Because I can look at that picture now and not see failure.

I see how far God has brought me.

I see healing.

I see restoration.

I see a woman who didn't know everything she was about to walk through—but I also see a Father who already knew.

Do I celebrate divorce? Absolutely not.

Divorce can be devastating. It doesn't only affect a husband and wife. It can affect children, families, friendships, relationships, communities—and sometimes, yes, divorce becomes necessary.

But if you are walking through that season right now, I need you to know something:

THERE IS ANOTHER SIDE.

There is another side of the shame.

There is another side of the disappointment.

There is another side of wondering who you are now.

There is another side of believing your life has somehow been permanently defined by what ended.

But you have to walk through the process.

And if I can tell you anything about that process, it is this:

Process it with your Father.

The One who knows your beginning.

The One who knows your ending.

And the One who fully understands your NOW.

Yes, I went to therapy.

Yes, I had counselors.

Yes, I had people who prayed for me, covered me and helped hold me up.

But ultimately, my resolve was found in my Father.

There were late-night hours when nobody else could walk through what I was feeling for me.

It was me and God.

And I had to trust Him with every emotion.

Every question.

Every broken piece.

I had to allow Him to put the pieces together—not necessarily to recreate who I had been, but to continue forming me into who He originally intended me to become.

I had to remember:

He is the Potter.

I am the clay.

And maybe somebody reading this needs to remember that too.

Whatever brought you to this point…

You need God.

Beyond the opinions.

Beyond the scrutiny.

Beyond the judgment.

Beyond the suggestions.

Beyond what everybody thinks you should or shouldn't do.

Find your Father.

And when the weight becomes too heavy and you feel yourself falling…

Don't fall backward.

Fall forward.

Fall into worship.

Fall into prayer.

Fall into the arms of your Father.

Because He cares for you.

Today, I can look at a picture that once would have reminded me of what I lost and instead thank God for what He has done in me.

THAT is healing.

The picture didn't change.

I did.

So to the divorced man…

To the divorced woman…

To the person currently watching a marriage unravel…

To the person trying to figure out who they are after everything changed…

This season does not get the final word over your life.

God is faithful.

And today, I give Him all the glory and all the honor for bringing me to a place where I can finally say without shame:

My latter shall be greater than my past.

And beloved…

YOUR LATTER CAN BE GREATER TOO.

—Prophet Crystal